My last 4 weeks in sentences

Since it has been about 4 weeks I've managed to forget pretty much everything I have done but there are a few moments which stick in the memory.

Nick emptying a glass of mango into his face
Being accepted as an honorary indian and given indian prices while everyone else got tourist prices
Deciding to take a shortcut over a fence home and discovering a man having a poo just behind
Nick flipping his omlette on the floor and then throwing it at Kate
Discovering the indian national sport is actually overtaking on blind corners and not cricket, as we had been lead to believe.
Being invited to stay in luxury resorts across india if I can find a PhD to do here
Nick throwing oopma on himself
Kate being involved in a brawl where the accountant went in to his car and came out with a wrench and chain
Getting charged by an elephant several times
Having a leopard in our garden
Nick being offered the chance to replace an old man's god if he supplied an electric fence
Being bitten by something, probably the spider in my bed and my ankle going purple and a bit manky
Playing table tennis with a lawyer for about 3 hours

I'm sure there's plenty more....